Enervate
by Blakepalm
Summary: The Valentine's Day Dance is coming soon! The race to find a date to the dance is on! Will Dave finally express his love for John? Will Eridan's troubles with love finally come to an end? Will Jade overcome her fear to confront the one she loves? Will John's new crush ruin his friendship with Dave? Find out in this romantic, funny and tragic fanfic that follows 15 characters! AU.
1. The Conundrum

**ACT 1**

Dave Strider closed the creaky door of his average sized home in his average sized town. He walked down his driveway and onto the sidewalk where he started walking at a calm, cool pace. It was a mild Saturday morning. The sun was high in the cloudless sky and many kids were outside on their lawns playing soccer or fooling around in the sprinklers that their parents or lusii had set out for them.

You can read in various world history books that Humans and Trolls have lived in harmony on this Earth since the dawn of time, however, they've always had separate governments. Sometime around the 11th century, there was some kind of Great War because the religious beliefs, political views and way of life of the two species were just so diverse, that each species was disgusted with the other. Nobody actually knows who won that war.

Depending on where you live, there's either a higher population of Trolls or a higher population of Humans. There used to be a lot of racism towards whatever species was the minority, but through various political summits, peace treaties, and new friendships made over the years, most of that horrible stuff has been erased from society. There are equal rights amongst Trolls and Humans in the majority of countries around the world nowadays.

In 2003, Trolls and Humans won the right to marry either species of their choice. In the 1800's, schools stopped being segregated so Humans and Trolls could learn together, with the exception of separate sexual education classes for obvious reasons. Also, "mutant" blooded Trolls were widely accepted into Troll society sometime in the 1400's after many protests with signs that read: "If Humans can live with each other despite their "candy red" blood then why can't we live with _our_ own people!?" or something like that.

These are the thoughts that Dave reflected upon on his way to Rose's house, which was just a few streets away from his. He didn't even notice when he'd arrived because he had been so deep in thought. Dave rang the doorbell and after the sound of feet gently making their way down some stairs, Rose opened the door.

"Come on inside my humble abode, Mr. Strider," Rose said in her usual calm and condescending voice.

"Yeah yeah, save the pleasantries, Lalonde. Where's the foxier of the wizardly Lalonde duo?" Dave asked in all seriousness.

"I thought I told you to stop referring to her in that way. Her name is Roxy, and she's my _sister_," Rose began, "besides, you're here seeking advice on that certain dorky movie lover you're courting in actuality, am I correct?"

"Oh please, Rose! You know you're always fuckin right," Dave said, trying to keep his cool. He wasn't doing so well though, because he could tell by Rose's snickering that he was blushing.

Rose walked Dave into her living room. There were lots of strange wizard merchandise everywhere, but the furniture was nice. It had that certain antique style Lalonde feel to it. They sat down on the couch and faced each other.

"Can I offer you a drink?" Rose asked.

"No thanks. I'm pretty sure I'm still underage and your mom probably wouldn't want me sippin on all her liquid courage."

"Not that kind of drink, dumbass," Rose said, rolling her eyes, "So onto your conundrum."

"Aight, so the Valentine's Day Dance at school is comin up soon, and I'm really not in the mood to be one of those dweebs seen there without a hot date. So I'm here asking you for advice on how to win the heart of Mr. Egberto," Dave said, making many different hand gestures as he spoke.

"Yes, yes..." Rose hummed as she pulled out her black notepad and began flipping through the pages vigorously. "It says here that you've liked John Egbert for, hmmm, ever since you've met him? Why wait till now to make your move?"

"_because_, Rose," Dave said as though it was completely obvious, "it is just SO much more romantic this way, and the more romantic it is when I let out the most big ass secret of my life, the higher the chances I'll have of him returning those feelings."

"Ahh, we seem to have a hopeless romantic in our midst. Now I'm intrigued. Tell me more," Rose said, readying a pen.

"What's there to tell?" Dave asked.

"Well, let's see...what's your ideal romantic situation?"

"Ahhhh no, I am NOT opening up that can of worms."

"Dave, none of what you say here leaves my office."

"It's your fucking living room, Rose. Tone it down a notch," Dave said. "To answer your question, though...well, I've always thought it would be *the most* lovey dovey situation to meet a beautiful stranger at a park and fall in love while talking on some swings with the sun setting behind us and the summer breeze blowing and...what?"

Dave's fantasy was interrupted by Rose's horribly hidden snickering.

"That's very detailed, Dave, even by your standards."

"Oh shut up!" Dave said feeling violated in a way that only Rose could make him feel.

"How do you and Kanaya do it, huh?" Dave asked.

"Do what?" Rose said after calming down a bit.

"Everything! I don't know! Like, how do you handle your relationship?"

"We just kind of do," Rose replied, "there's no real trick to it, we just do what makes each other happiest."

There was a pause as Dave was left to ponder. Rose took this free time to jot down god knows what in her little note pad. Dave couldn't just do whatever made John happy to win his love, that's a thing that bros should do for each other anyway. Damn! Dave's brother, Dirk, made it look so easy to be in a relationship considering Jake and him were on dates practically always.

"Dave," Rose said, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"You realize he's not gay, right?"

"Well, yeah, duh, but like, maybe I'm the exception? Or maybe if he entertained the thought?"

Dave was cut off by Rose saying, "Sorry to burst your ever ironic bubble, but the odds of that are slim, so I strongly suggest finding a new love interest before the dance."

"I can't just shift the Strider love that easily, Rose."

"Well learn how, unless you want to look like a dweeb, of course."

"Humph!" Dave grunted while standing up. "I don't need you to tell me how to live my life!"

"I thought that's what you came here for."

"I came here for advice, not to be told that there's no hope!" Dave walked to the door and slipped on his shoes. "See you later. Thanks for zilch."

"Come again, Mr. Strider. You're my favourite patient."

"I'M YOUR ONLY PATIENT!" Dave said, slamming the door shut.

Rose grinned, "My work here is done."

Dave began to make his way back home from Rose's house, knowing full well that she _was _right and that everything she had said during their visit was completely and utterly true.


	2. Empty

"Thanks for having me over again," Karkat said, entering Terezi's hive.

The two Trolls ran straight for Terezi's room as they always did. The pair hung out almost every Saturday. People at school called them inseparable; some even speculated that they were matesprits, but they most definitely weren't. Karkat and Terezi had been friends since kindergarten, and even though most of the time you would catch them bickering with each other, they always stuck together.

In eighth grade, there was a terrible accident that led to Terezi losing her eyesight. She lost many friends, Humans and Trolls alike, because they were afraid of her becoming too big a burden, but who stuck around? Karkat did. There were of few others that didn't ditch either but Karkat didn't really feel like thinking about those douchebags. Luckily, Terezi's lusus taught her how to see using other senses, which really sucks for those "friends" who left because she knows some pretty radical tricks now.

Karkat entered the room after Terezi. He loved the familiarity of it all. Over the years, Terezi's place had become like a second hive to him. Karkat knew pretty much every nook and cranny of the place, and he always felt welcome. The two plopped down on the small sofa in unison.

"So what do you want to do today?" Terezi asked in a polite way, as if Karkat was a guest, which technically, he is, but he felt that he's been here enough times to skip all of that meaningless hosting bullshit.

"I don't fucking know. What's the point of doing anything any day?" Karkat said folding his arms and shifting his gaze to some far off corner in the room.

"Awww! Karkat, baby! Is someone down in the dumps?" Terezi asked puckering her lips and using a voice that sounded like she was speaking to an idiotic, drooling grub.

"Actually, yes I am! And do you know why, Terezi? It's because everywhere I look I see birds cheerily singing their annoying songs, couples are snogging grotesquely on park benches and the hot sun is constantly bombarding me with it's hot summer rays!"

"Ahhh, but don't those things just renew your faith in the world!? Heehee!" Terezi retorted, nudging Karkat with her elbow so that he'd return to making eye contact with her again or at least stare at her super cool glasses while she smelt which direction his eyeballs were looking. Wow. That sounded weirder than she thought it would.

Karkat _did_ stare blankly at Terezi's glasses, but his eyes did not convey any uplifting in his mood. Terezi grew more serious. "Seriously, what's wrong, Karkat?"

Karkat sighed, and then said, "I couldn't even tell you, Terezi, because I don't actually know myself. I just feel like there's this void in my life and I have no idea how to fill it. This huge, gaping hole is literally causing me to huddle in a foetal position of sorrow in my recuperacoon every night, which sounds really pitiful, I know, but that's because it is. Am I making any sense?"

"Sounds to me like someone wants a date for the Valentine's Day dance!"

"NO! IT IS NOT THAT AT ALL! BLECH!"

Terezi started howling and Karkat shoved his blushing face into his turtle neck. After wiping a tear away from her eye, Terezi got back on track again. "Well I can't say I know that feeling, to be honest," Terezi said, making a face that resembled :?, "but I know that whenever I'm feeling down, I like to go for a nice afternoon walk and stop somewhere to just gather all that's around me, it helps clear my head a bit, so why don't you try that?"

"Ah, yes. Walking followed by philosophical contemplations of my life and the universe and how much both of those things suck ass. I can see how that could help me, thanks a bunch," Karkat replied sarcastically.

"Listen, dickwad! Just trust me on this," Terezi said, grasping Karkat's hand and basically dragging him down the stairs and out the door with him clumsily tripping behind. "The sun is setting and there's a park just down those two streets," Terezi said as she pointed, "Go chill there for a while and you don't even have to think hard! Just let whatever thoughts come to you make their way through your disgruntled little head, alright?"

"Fine," Karkat said, slumping off in the direction that Terezi had pointed to.

Terezi watched him leave until he turned the corner, then she was going to head back inside when she remembered that she wanted to make a call. Terezi pulled her cell phone out from her pocket and searched her contacts for the number she sought, and then dialled it. Terezi had to wait for her friend to pick up on the other end. You could hear it ring once...then twice...and then another six times before she finally picked up, which might have bugged you, if she didn't do this every time Terezi called.

"Must you wait for it to ring eight times before you finally pick up your fucking phone!?" Terezi asked, somewhat annoyed, but not really.

"Well of courrrrrrrrse I do! Eight is my lucky number, you know that!" Vriska, your (kind of) best friend, next to Karkat of course, replied.

"How can you even tell how many times it's rung on my end?" Terezi asked, truly baffled.

"Intuition I guess!"

Terezi could practically hear her smugly winking through the metaphorical void between the two phones.

"Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies tomorrow." Terezi asked.

"No I don't, you bitch."

"Why not, you whore!?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO, YOU SLUT!"

"WELL THAT'S FINE WITH ME, SKANK!"

"BITCH."

"BITCH."

They both hang up simultaneously. Terezi instantly redialled Vriska's number.

"So movies Sunday then?" Terezi asked.

"Yeah I'd totes love to go." Vriska answered.

"Okay, cool. You can bring someone if you want. I mean, I'm not going to, but I know that _you_ always need a shoulder to cry on." Terezi said jokingly.

"You're just jealous because you _never _have a shoulder to cry on!" Vriska replied, in an equally mischievous way.

"Heehee, whatever! See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, ok." Vriska said as she hung up.

Vriska shoved her phone forcefully back into her pocket and began pacing around her room, rubbing her chin trying to think of an actual _friend_ that she could bring to the movies. What was she even talking about? She has tons of friends! She has Terezi and Karkat and...Well Tavros is a different kind of friend, (one that is always willing to be a punching bag when you're feeling down, what a pal!) but a friend nonetheless!

Vriska was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea. "How about," she began mumbling to herself, "that dorky kid from first period! John, I think his name was? Oh!" Vriska exclaimed as she got out her phone once again, "I know I have his number in here somewherrrrrrrre." Vriska said, stretching her words as she shuffled through all her contacts. "AH! There he is!" She selected the number immediately, or should she say imedi8ly, and brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" Vriska could hear a quirky voice on the other end say.

"Yo, John?"

"Yeah...who is this? Is this a prank call? Did Dave put you up to this? I bet he did, wow. What was he even thinking trying to prank the pranking master?!" John rambled, but was cut off by Vriska.

"Shut up, you dork! It's Vriska. You know, from first period?"

"Oh, yeah! What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie with me and my friend Terezi on Sunday."

"I'd totally love to do that! I'm not sure if you know this, Vriska, but I'm a bit of a movie connoisseur, although, I must admit that I'm nothing compared to Jake!"

"Yeah yeah I don't care about any of that." Vriska said bluntly.

"Oh. Ok." John replied, not seeming very upset. "Wait, Terezi...that's Dave's blind friend, right?"

"Uh...Yeah, I guess."

"Ohhhhh now I'm excited! I've always needed an excuse to talk to her because she sounds really cool! You sound pretty rad too, Vris!"

"Please, John. I'm sure you'll find that I am the absolute raaaaaaaadist!"

"Hehe! Ok! Talk to you later, Vriska!"

"See you Sunday!" Vriska hung up, and then toppled onto the ground giggling. "What a dork." She said to herself.


	3. Old Fashioned

Eridan slammed the door to his hive shut with a loud and furious bang. Today was his day, his day to finally be successful in courting the one he desired most. He could _feel _it. He turned and began strutting without hesitation, for he had visited this particular blond haired boy's residence many times in the past. Eridan sneered and glared at every couple, sign of intimacy and romantic vibe that he passed on his way. "How could _those_ people find love so easily!?" He thought to himself with a snarl.

Eridan arrived at the house (which was of course nothing compared to his hive, or so he thought), and banged on the creaky door with fury. "STRIIIDERRRRRR! Open up, you prick! I know you're in there!" Eridan yelled. He immediately looked at his watch, as this was a requirement to his usual Saturday routine. He began to countdown out loud, "Three, two, one," and then the door slowly crept open.

"Go away," Dirk said calmly yet with a hint of agitation as he unsheathed his katana.

"Hmpf!" Eridan grunted as he entered the boy's hive, excuse him, _house_ without invitation. Eridan knew full well that Dirk would never actually attack him with his katana, would he? Whatever. If he did, it would probably look really hot. Eridan entered the living room and comfortably took a seat on the sofa as Dirk reluctantly followed behind him with a sigh, and then leaned against the wall. Every piece of furniture in the room looked as though it had come from a second hand store which contained mainly old lady paraphernalia, but it also looked expensive. "Irony," Eridan muttered to himself with disgust. Puppets were strewn about the room and every corner was ridden with wires connected to various units of complex machinery. "I assume you know why I'm here?" Eridan asked.

"Of course I know why you're here. You show up at the same time every Saturday and propose the same thing, and the answer is, and will always be no," Dirk replied.

"Oh, don't be so close minded, Strider! I mean, you could be passin up the opportunity of a lifetime to be with a troll that has some of the most royal blood on the hemospectrum! You should feel honoured that I'm even speaking to you really." Eridan bothered.

"Dude, you sound like you're from the 1800's with all this talk about that fucking hemospectrum thing."

"Tch! Call me old fashioned."

"And besides, as I've told you A MILLION times, I'm in a relationship with Jake, and I doubt that I'll be out of that relationship anytime soon," Dirk explained, "got it?"

"But what do you even SEE in that English kid!? Like he doesn't even have a cape! I'm more like the animes than he is!" Eridan said as he attempted to sway Dirk's choice.

Dirk just sighed and Eridan swore the he could see him roll his eyes from behind his ridiculous triangular sun blocking device. Eridan searched desperately for a topic to break the silence, or else he would be forced to leave in order to avoid looking un-cool.

"So where's that wannabe little brother of yours?"

"Over at the Lalonde's house." Dirk answered quickly without looking at Eridan.

Eridan became nervous and twiddled his thumbs. "Oh," was all he said, quietly.

Dirk began feeling sorry for the sad guy, but only a bit. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he thought. This was the eleventh Saturday in a row that Eridan had arrived at Dirk's house at the same time, proposing the same thing and talking shit about his boyfriend, etcetera, etcetera, but as much as Dirk hated the guy he had to admit that his tenacity was impressive.

"Look," Dirk began, "I am not available, get that through your think pan, alright?"

"I won't give up!"

"No, you SHOULD give up. Hit on someone who isn't in a relationship and who doesn't actually hate you."

"Oh, well _that_ narrows it down, thanks a ton, dick."

"Listen, I recommend Roxy because she might actually be able to stand you and is definitely as flirtatious as you."

Eridan's fins perked up a bit and he grinned. "I've never thought of _her_ before. Perhaps you do have a point. Where about could a man find said Lalonde!?"

"I'm pretty sure that she was helping Jane out with setting up the Valentine's Day Dance at school today but she's probably home now and I'm guessing she don't wanna be bothered, however, she's gonna be back there again finishing up with decorations tomorrow so," Dirk was cut off by a stream of air passing by him quickly.

He was confused until he saw that Eridan was no longer on the couch and the sounds of his maniacal laughter could be heard throughout the neighbourhood.


	4. Aura

Tavros Nitram awoke from his usual afternoon nap to the sound of someone banging their fist hard against his hive's wooden entrance device. He lazily stood up and made his way towards the noise, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He took a few more steps towards the door but then fell flat on his face after tripping over something. Tavros turned to see what had tripped him and found that his lusus, Tinkerbull, had also been having a peaceful nap, before he was rudely awakened by your large gray foot.

"Sorry, Tinkerbull!" he apologized. Tinkerbull, clearly annoyed, fluttered upstairs. Tavros turned and whispered, "Yeah you better run, motherfucker," under his breath, which made him feel extremely empowered. Finally, Tavros opened the door and the knocking ceased. He discovered that the person making the loud banging noise was none other than one of his best friends, Jade Harley.

"Hey," she said, inviting herself in. Tavros sighed in his mind, knowing what was coming. He closed the door and took a seat on the couch beside the green eyed girl, who had already sat down. The sound of creaky, rusted springs filled the room with every move made on the couch. Most of Tavros's furniture consisted of old, broken and ugly hand me downs, which made his house look a little like the Strider's house, except a lot less awesome because everyone knew that he didn't _choose_ to have such a drab atmosphere. Oh, also don't get him wrong. Tavros wasn't exactly friends with the Striders, he just tagged along with Jade to a party they had at some point, and then ended up going home early because he was the only one with a nine o'clock curfew. Damn you, Tinkerbull. Damn you.

"What happened this time?" Tavros asked, cutting to the chase.

"Rose just called and told me that Dave went over to her house this afternoon to talk about John! Can you believe him!?" Jade asked, completely flabbergasted at this shocking revelation.

"Uh, yes, actually, I can. I mean, he _does_ have a crush on John," Tavros said, pointing out the obvious, "oh, and is a hobosexual."

"_Homo_sexual," Jade corrected.

"Oh, right, sorry. I always mess up my human sexualities!" Tavros said with a laugh.

Jade let out a forced laugh, trying to humour Tavros. "What I'm saying must sound really messed up, right?"

"Well, yeah," Tavros answered honestly.

"But like, despite his sexuality, maybe I'm the exception? Or maybe if he entertained the thought?" Jade wondered aloud to Tavros, hoping for an answer to her problem.

"Yeah! I bet you totally are the exception! The odds of that are super high because you're so beautiful and kind and confident, so I strongly suggest asking him out before the dance!" Tavros said, but he was lying. He did not strongly suggest asking him out before the dance and he did not bet on Jade being the exception. The truth is that he was in love with Jade and had no idea why he was encouraging her to go after Dave. "GOD, you are SUCH an idiot!" He thought to himself.

Jade brightened up a bit. "You really think so, Tav!?" she asked.

"Totally!" he lied.

Jade smiled off into the distance for a minute with a grin on her face, but then returned to reality. "Oh, but enough about me. Tell me about who you like, Tavros!"

"Uhh…"

It is at this point that Tavros started thinking something along the lines of "MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!"

"Nobody that you'd care about, probably," he said.

"No way! I'm totally interested! C'mon, lay it on me!" she insisted.

"It's uhhh….ummmm…" Jade tilted her head in anticipation for Tavros's answer. "Vriska! Yeah, haha, that's who it is, Vriska!"

For a moment there was silence but then Jade shattered it by saying, "Are you shitting me?"

"wHAT!?" Tavros asked, knowing exactly what the problem was.

"SHE LITERALLY HANGS YOU BY YOUR HORNS AND USES YOU AS A PUNCHING BAG WHENEVER SHE'S IN A BAD MOOD HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A THING FOR HER!? LIKE THAT'S NOT EVEN KISMESIS WORTHY SHE'S JUST A BITCH!"

Tavros whimpered a bit in fear. Jade looked timid and was really nice most of the time but she could be REALLY scary. "pleasedonthurtme," he said really quickly, shielding himself from any possible oncoming attacks.

Jade calmed herself down and sighed. "Whatever. Who am I to judge? I'm have a crush on gay boy, heheh," she laughed lamely.

"Yeah, heheh," tavros laughed in return, which increased the awkwardness in the room. That was his talent.

"Well anyway, I think I'm gonna follow your advice," Jade said, heading for the door, "I _am_ going to ask Dave to the Valentine's Day Dance! I'll probably do it tomorrow sometime, though, because it's getting pretty late."

"Yeah, hehe! You go girl!" Tavros said in his usual stuttery, insecure voice as he followed Jade and opened the door for her.

Jade was about to leave when she turned to Tavros, a sincere look filling her green eyes, adding a certain glow to her entire aura. "Thank you so much, Tavros."

Tavros blushed as he was a little taken aback by her seriousness. "D-Don't mention it!" he replied, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.

Jade blushed as well, gave a little smile and then was off. Tavros shut the door and sighed. "Way to blow it, Tavros. You've really done it this time," he muttered to himself.

"I think that someone's got a motherfuckin hard on for a certain Harley human. HONK."

Tavros let out an extremely girly scream and almost fell over again. "TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT I HAVE NOTHING OF VALUE SO I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD BUT JUST DON'T HURT MEEEEEE!" Tavros felt a hand gently pat his shoulder and he gathered the courage to see who this intruder was, exactly.

"Hey there, Tavbro." Gamzee Makara, one of Tavros's other best friends (and definitely most rad bro ever), had somehow entered his hive undetected.

"Gamzee!? How did you?" Tavros didn't bother finishing his sentence because he noticed that the window opposite to the door had been opened. "Oh," Tavros exclaimed. "Wait, wasn't that locked? How did you open it!?" Tavros asked.

"Miracles, bro." :o)

"Haha" }:)

Angry cow noises could be heard from upstairs, which Tavros translated into "KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN."

They both ignored the mooing, and Tavros continued, asking, "No but seriously how did you do that?"

"I googled 'how to unlock a motherfuckin window'," Gamzee replied.

Tavros laughed the hardest he had in a long time while Gamzee honked away. "Bro, that was motherfuckin hard to watch," Gamzee said.

"Yeah...I know. I just got nervous and said all the wrong things and ahhh!"

"It's all cool, bro! I'm sure she'll come around eventually! Miss Harley will see what a badass you are and be slobberin all over your sweet ass. To be honest, anybody would be the motherfuckin luckiest motherfucker in the world if they got the chance to mack on those luscious Nitram lips" Gamzee said, trying to encourage his pal.

"Wow, thanks Gamzee!" Tavros said, completely oblivious that Gamzee was totally hitting on him just now. Little did he know that Gamzee had created a cardboard cutout of Tavros so that he could play "Pin the Horn on the Nitram" whenever he was bored. The game consisted of taping one of Gamzee's spare horns to the cutouts crotch. That's not weird, right?

Yeah.

Right.

Totally not weird.

At least Gamzee didn't think so.

In fact he thought it was quite…

Miraculous

:o)

HONK.


End file.
